I WILL NOT FIGHT FOR YOU. I’VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BEFORE AND I WILL SAY IT AGAIN. LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU. Throughout my 23 years of life I have learned that physical confrontations and violence are completely avoidable 9 times out of 10. I don’t live my life in such a manner that I would end up assaulting someone or someone wanting to assault me. There is always that option to remove yourself from the situation. If you put yourself in a situation that you can walk away from and end up getting jumped, that’s a lesson I feel you need to learn. If you attack someone and come out on the losing end, you just lost because I’m not helping you. My only exception to this rule is if your life is in danger or your were attacked, unprovoked. I get so tired of seeing all these fight videos and African Americans constantly embarrassing themselves. When you can’t use your superior senses and mouth to avoid physical confrontation, you have just that simply and swiftly negated all rights to be called a human being. Those are actions of animals, untrained. And quite frankly, I refuse to stoop that low. Say what you will, but what other race do you see so eager to present every bit of stereotypical behavioral ignorance? I REFUSE. Say what you will, but unless Im in a boxing ring, you won’t catch me out here acting an ass only to be shared over time and time again on someone’s news feed. I wish you would call me weak, weak is the person who has no control over there own physical impulses that behave like zoo animals. I’m no saint, nor am I free of fault but I won’t fold for that.
Complete transparency of me.
The last year for me has been very hard mentally and emotionally. From breakups to disappointments and everything in between. It’s affecting me in ways that I don’t even realize. I keep it well hidden from most people, but I just can’t deal anymore. I feel pretty low about myself. I’m an adult, yes, but I’m still growing up and it is so hard. I’m walking a fine line between wanting to live my life how I want and not disappointing the people who believe in me. My mother is everything to me, she wants me to finish school so bad so I can have something for myself. I hate school, she’s the only reason that I’m still going. I know I won’t finish because I don’t take it seriously. I don’t have the balls to tell her I don’t want that for myself. I know she only wants the best for me. I’d give everything to not disappoint her but it is inevitable. I don’t know what the future holds or where I’ll end. I don’t have any direction in my life. The truth is I’m quite lonely. I have very few friends and they’re the closest thing to me. I don’t get close to many people because I don’t want to get attached. And believe you me, I do get attached and I hate that about myself. It makes it hard for me to let people go, even if it is for the better. When I feel alone, I drink, it makes me forget about it. If Im mad, I drink, it makes me feel better. That’s turned into a cycle of excessive self medicating and it has definitely taken a tole on me. I have a good heart, I swear I do but I’ve been making a lot of bad decisions… I don’t like myself right now. I go to sleep praying that I wake up with something to look forward to. I do not handle negative emotions well. Too many have witnessed that. I’m a big emotional mess. I cry so much. I’m fucking crying right now. I don’t sleep anymore. I can go days without sleeping. When I don’t wanna think about something or try to put it behind it shows up in my fucking dreams. I’m having a really hard time right now. I come down on myself so hard. Some days, like today, I just want to disappear, vanish into thin air. I like to have a degree of certainty when it comes to things involving myself and I don’t have that right now. It is driving me crazy. I’m not a go with the flow type of person. I’ve hurt a lot of people lately, I am truly sorry for that. I’m just… I don’t know, I just don’t know…
SEXUAL PREDATOR ON THE LOOSE!
There’s a black man going around the Chicago area sexually assaulting black women and teens at bus stops. He has a xhamster account and he’s posting videos of him assaulting women on the internet.
I’m not from the Chicago area but I’ve contacted their police department at least 3 times and received no reply. I don’t know the exact areas he visits but his videos show his location and sometimes you can see the bus information.
Please help spread awareness about this. This sick asshole is posting videos regularly, talking about his plans to harass women in local bars, is an admitted pedophile and said he’s looking to make money off assaulting women. SPREAD THE WORD!
"LOOK AT THE DOG"
I’m not very happy with myself lately and I don’t know how to pull myself out of it.